amazing. the last text message felt i was assaulted by a terrorist.
its amazing how some people blind other people
and find out its your own blood who wronged you.
i have seen it happen to others
and now i am the unlucky SOB who is on the business end of this frak-up.
unlucky. ok.
some dont realize, even friends can steal your money.
some dont realize some people rip you off.
some dont realize, teeaching people to fish is more sufficent than giving fish.
alone is just as good as being with someone, but alone, the someone is my Holy Wingman, God.
i get to talk. though to myself. but i know He's listening.
He knew this was coming, and He wont tell me what's next..
He seems to beckon that i fly my own plane, paddle my own canoe, captain of my ship. He's just the EX-O. Like Col. Saul Tigh.
sometimes i ask Him how you would be doin but no he just shrugs off with a smile.
sometimes alone can be nice
nothing to ponder
no one to expect, nothing to receive, no one to give something...
i never wanted to be loved the same way i love. a simple reponse, appreciation and reciprocation is more than enough. though a thank you response is just funny.
i do not know how some people end up hating the blessings they recieve, regardless of how good the blessing is.
some people for some strange reason prefer hurting themselves.
some break their own hearts.
some their skin
some their lives.
i find these odd.
is it personality?
is it some bad experience?
trauma?
events of the past?
train of thought?
twisted perception?
i do not know nor do i want to know.
im just a ghost of the past, a past though that was cherished and treasured, but thrown away.
im just a ghost who thought would be treasured, but in the end was treated as an enemy.
this ghost still haunts himself.
this ghost lives on in autopilot.
no emotions, no feelings, no thoughts, work,eat sleep
shocked all that he worked hard for, gone in a snap.
shocked,and hurt.
what were you trying to prove?
i thought i can have you again as friend. but a few words from your family then turned you into fierce enemy.
shocked then i consider now as enemy as well.
i would understand if deep in you thoughts you have thise inkling to murder me.
i dont care why but its ok, im the devil..
trust me i wont be doing the same or fighting back, maybe eliminating me might raise the way how they see you.dont know what their plan is, and i dont really care. go do to me what they want you to do to me..
